The Quote Thread

[Cool Cool WaterHonorary Member]

"King Arthur: Look, you stupid bastard, you've got no arms left!
Black Knight: Yes I have.
King Arthur: Look!
Black Knight: Just a flesh wound.

Black Knight: Running away? You yellow bastard! Come back and get what's coming to you! I'll bite your legs off!

Black Knight: 'Tis but a scratch.
King Arthur: A scratch!? Your arm's off!
Black Knight: No, it isn't.
King Arthur: Well, what's that then?!
Black Knight: I've had worse."

- Monty Python and the Holy Grail movie, 1975

[Cool Cool WaterHonorary Member]

"He's a jackass"

- PewDiePie, on YouTube rival Logan Paul after suicide forest scandal, 2018

[Cool Cool WaterHonorary Member]

"Don't you mean "Humour?"

- Mr. K, 2018

[Mr. KAdvisor]

"Are you all sitty comftybold two-square on your botty? Then I'll begin.

"Now, like all real life experience stories, this also begins once a polly tito, and Happiness Stan, whose life evolved the ephemeral colour dreamy most, and his deep joy in this being the multicolour of the moon. Oh yes. His home a victoriana charibold, the four-wheel folloped ft-ft-ft out the back. Now, as eve on his deep approach, his eye on the moon. Alltime sometime deept joy of a full moon scintyladen dangly in the heavenly bode. But now only half! So, gathering all behind him the hintermost, he ploddy-ploddy forward into the deep complicadent fundermold of the forry to sort this one out."

Narrator Stanley Unwin's first words on "Happiness Stan", which takes up side two of the Small Faces album Ogden's Nut Gone Flake

[Cool Cool WaterHonorary Member]

"Put your heart, mind, and soul into even your smallest acts. This is the secret of success."

- Swami Sivananda

[Cool Cool WaterHonorary Member]

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts."

- Winston Churchill

[Mr. KAdvisor]

"Just about a mile from where the motorways all merge
You can view the national edifice, a monumental splurge
It's the lonesome traveller's rotgut or bacteria's revenge
The great plastic spectacular descendant of Stonehenge
And the people come to worship on their death-defying wheels
Fancy-dressed as shovels for their death-defying meals
It's the Watford Gap, Watford Gap
A plate of grease and a load of crap"

Roy Harper, "Watford Gap" (Bullinamingvase, 1977)

[Cool Cool WaterHonorary Member]

"We don’t celebrate technology for technology’s sake; we celebrate how others...harness the power of technology to go out and change the world."

- Satya Nadella, CEO of Microsoft

[Mr. KAdvisor]

This is the first in a series of quotes I managed to salvage (after the event) from our previous home. This is the one I was initially looking for:

"Boys, you may not be aware that there is an object attached to you that looks somewhat like a torch. Next time you're in the bath, look down and you'll see it. If you touch the globe part of that torch it will light up. But as you know, when you turn on a torch the batteries start to run down. And you boys only have very small batteries."

Roald Dahl in a TV documentary recalling a sex talk given by his headmaster at primary school

NB: This is Mr. K's rough estimate of his more accurate transcription from memory of that anecdote as included in a comprehensive and intelligent quotes thread on The Capitol Board before its moderator saw fit to delete the topic in its entirety, effectively transporting that board back to the Dark Ages.

With thanks.

[Mr. KAdvisor]

Here are two classics from the fertile mind of Endless Roger aka Endless Anthropomorphism (they were originally posted on the similarly defunct Capitol Board). I hope he eventually manages to join us here!


"One of my favourite wines is a Portuguese red wine called Grão Vasco. The Endless Anthropomorphic review:
Vintage 2000. Clear ruby color; a row of tiny bubbles lines the rim. Volatile and rustic, red fruit aromas with hints of "barnyard" and, within acceptable limits, red-wine vinegar. Light and tart, simple red fruit and lemon-squirt acidity on the palate;
a sour-apple tang persists in the finish. On the rough and rustic side, palatable but
a bit harsh; but man did I get [expletive deleted] ripped on this stuff. I had a few bottles and woke up in my knickers in my neighbour's garden the next morning."


"'Now is the winter of our discontent, made glorious summer by this sun of York,' said Mr. Fuzzy Whiskers, as he feasted on jelly beans. 'And all the clouds that lour'd upon our house in the deep bosom of the ocean buried,' he added, accidently spilling candy across the floor of the make believe forest.
Aaron The Aardvark giggled loudly and said, 'Oh, Mr. Fuzzy Whiskers, you are so silly. Now are our brows bound with victorious wreaths, our bruised arms hung up for monuments and golly gee whiz, we've eaten all of the strawberry jam.'"

From Mr. Fuzzy Whiskers' Picnic Frolic by William Shakespeare

[Mr. KAdvisor]

Q: "Are you a happy person, Bob?"
A: "Oh yes, I'm as happy as an ashtray."

Bob Dylan at a Paris press conference, 1966

[Cool Cool WaterHonorary Member]

"A woodland in full color is awesome as a forest fire, in magnitude at least, but a single tree is like a dancing tongue of flame to warm the heart."

- Hal Borland

[Mr. KAdvisor]

Khrushchev was talking to some collective farmers. "How's life?" he joked. "It's great!" they joked back.

Soviet humour

[Mr. KAdvisor]

"Even if I caught Prince Harry and Gary Glitter adorned in Nazi regalia defecating through my grandmother’s letterbox I would still consider making them listen to this album too severe a punishment."

NME review of Brokencyde's debut album I'm Not a Fan, But the Kids Like It! (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brokencyde)

[Cool Cool WaterHonorary Member]

"Even if I caught Prince Harry and Gary Glitter adorned in Nazi regalia defecating through my grandmother’s letterbox I would still consider making them listen to this album too severe a punishment."

NME review of Brokencyde's debut album I'm Not a Fan, But the Kids Like It! (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brokencyde)

[Mr. KAdvisor]

"Your lyrics to Wild Honey ('My love’s coming down since I got a taste of wild honey, Gonna take my life eating up her wild honey') have always impressed me as a celebration of cunnilingus. Is that interpretation correct?"

Custom Machine, registering a question to Mike in AGD's "Mike Love One to One" topic at PSF

[Cool Cool WaterHonorary Member]

"Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm."

- Winston Churchill

[Mr. KAdvisor]

“We did try once to not have any swearing, but then Jason put ‘fuck’ in the chorus.”

“It’s how I speak. People criticize the swearing. It’s not just fucking swearing."

Andrew Fearn and Jason Williamson (respectively) of Sleaford Mods

[Cool Cool WaterHonorary Member]

“We did try once to not have any swearing, but then Jason put ‘fuck’ in the chorus.”

“It’s how I speak. People criticize the swearing. It’s not just fucking swearing."

Andrew Fearn and Jason Williamson (respectively) of Sleaford Mods

Wise words. I've met them two and they're very down to earth.

[Mr. KAdvisor]

"Without tradition, art is a flock of sheep without a shepherd. Without innovation, it is a corpse."

Winston Churchill

[Mr. KAdvisor]

"[I]t was ironic that by trying to keep the summer alive, they were hastening autumn, if not winter."

the captain at PSF, on The Beach Boys and advancing age (http://petsoundsforum.com/thread/2482/where-beach-men)

[DarkGothicQueen]

"Confucius say: 'He who stand on toilet get high on pot.'"

       ~~~ Status Update for Bear0922 on 'The Spoiling Dead Fans'

[Cool Cool WaterHonorary Member]

"Confucius say: 'He who stand on toilet get high on pot.'"

       ~~~ Status Update for Bear0922 on 'The Spoiling Dead Fans'

[Mr. KAdvisor]

"Last summer, I heard 'Don't Talk (Put Your Head On My Shoulder)' played on the cello. It sounded beautiful and sad, just as it does on 'Pet Sounds.'  So now you know, if all the record players in the world get broken tomorrow, these songs could be heard a hundred years from now."

Elvis Costello (with many thanks to petsite: http://petsoundsforum.com/thread/2507/little-sounds-30th-anniversary-info)

[Cool Cool WaterHonorary Member]

“Have no fear of perfection, you’ll never reach it”

– Salvador Dali

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