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Mr. K's BB-related Creative Stuff

on Mon Jan 08, 2018 11:32 am
To kick things off, a Beach Boys sonnet:

When Brian heard The Beatles' Rubber Soul
"A whole album with all good stuff", gasp'd he,
And realign'd his sights accordingly,
Changing the course of music as a whole.
Meanwhile, the group whose many songs he wrote
Was playing these at gigs around the world;
Yet when his latest off'ring he unfurl'd
His bandmates found this music too remote
And felt that it would alienate the fans.
Up spake young Mike, one never short of pluck,
"Bri, with the formula you should not fuck,"
Which threaten'd to upset our hero's plans;
Still, thanks to session players brave and true
Pet Sounds got done, and "Good Vibrations" too.
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Re: Mr. K's BB-related Creative Stuff

on Mon Jan 08, 2018 11:36 am
And now, a Beach Boys Crossword Puzzle. First posted long ago on the Capitol Board, I cobbled it together myself rather than let my clues and answers loose on some puzzle construction site----hence the crudity of it. It does work though----I did it myself and so did Ruint Domino (Tyler Moore Parks at our previous home) .

As you see, it's just a list of clues, so anyone rash enough to want to give it a try will have to make their own grid: 23 rows (the "Across" clues), numbered 1 to 23 from top to bottom and 22 columns (the "Down" clues), marked A to V from left to right. It's not square, I hear you say. I say it's a miracle it got done at all. I count my blessings it's rectangular, lol.  

Across
1C and 1P down: Rare instrumental work-out on this '70s BB song (7,4,4)
1O: Middle period BB engineer (5)
3A and 18G: From Rishikesh (4,3)
3F, 5I and 6B: Book alluded to in Al song (7,4,7)
3P and 17A down: Jack's continental project (7,7)
4N: We'll --- away (3)
5I: see 3F
5S: see 2N down
6B: see 3F
6N, 15I down and 22A: The Lagoon gets a mention here (4,4,4)
7K: Nothing heavy about this (2)
7T: Alcoholic beverage mentioned in SMiLE 2004 (3)
8A: Jazz great switches to mandolin (6,6)
8N and 2T down: Includes Four Seasons take-off (7,7)
10B: Either way, I'm ****ed (5,3,3,5,1,4)
12K, 9M down and 15V down: Air sample this on "Remember" (2,2,5)
13A: Song alluded to in 3F, 5I and 6B (10)
13M: see 1A down
15A: Brian's state of mind in the '60s? (14)
16S, 17D and 17K: Mike honks on this one (4,4,5)
18G: see 3A
18Q: see 15T down
19A: A favourite Murry expression in the studio (5)
19J: Derek on Smile in '67 (Cool
20G: ---- on, Blondie (4)
21J and 20H down: Us (3,3,1)
21N: Brian's First Best Friend (4,5)
22A: see 6N
23F: Phil's take on a Brian song (6,3,Cool

Down
1A and 13M across: First non-musician to be named in BB song (5,9)
1D: Not just one of the "minders" (4)
1H: Neither in Japan nor in the water? (4)
1J and 16Q: Denny's todger (3,4)
1L and 10T: Roy honks on this one (3,2)
1P: see 1C across
1R: Friend of Anderle's (5)
1V: see 3F
2N and 10I: Frankie plays shells on this track (5,2)
2T: see 8N across
3F and 1V: This one starts with an argument (2,4)
3K: Uncredited Brian-penned bridge in this one (6,4)
5C: Guest musician plays with himself on BB track (7,5)
5E: BB song used at school to demonstrate 3/4 time (7)
6G: Murry's pipe-cleaner (3,5)
6P: Brian speaks his mind on this track (6,3)
6V: Asher on Brian: "an ------- human being" (7)
7A: 7K across was the BB's first here (3)
7L: "And on rhythm guitar..." (2)
7R: Elton (true) or Murry (false) (Cool
9M: see 12K across
10I: see 2N
10N: Beach Boys mum (6)
10T: see 1L
11A: The composer's friend (5)
13F: First word of "Wake The World" (3)
13U: Beach Boys '60s record format (2)
15E: My car can take us there (6)
15G: The Honeys say he's one (4)
15I: see 6N across
15K: The --- dressed in white (3)
15M: Beatles song that namechecks Brian? (6)
15T and 18Q across: Scraped the US Top 100 in '80 (4,2)
15V: see 12K across
16Q: see 1J across
17A: see 3P across
17O: "And I went to sleep" [3]
18C: Quite funky (6)
19J: Original "hot fun" merchant (3)
19P: The missing element? (5)
19S: Brian's producer in the past (3)
20H: see 21J across
20U: He cowrote a song with Brian (4)
21F: Sounds like Banana or Louie (3)
21L: Surfin' nation (3)
21N: The Crows did this first (3)
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Re: Mr. K's BB-related Creative Stuff

on Mon Jan 08, 2018 11:44 am
This is my rewrite of track 7, side 1 of Pet Sounds, with apologies to just about everyone. Technical note: The italicized words or syllables
are an attempt to mark the first beat of a bar where it gets sticky. (The sloop of the first line refers to a nickname given to our previous home.)


"We're off on the Sloop John K
With Steve Douglas leading the way
His flute line introduces the words of verse one
Then in comes the bass
All over the place
There's so much happening
And we've hardly begun

"So thanks be to Al Jardine
Whose folkie instincts had seen
That the Kingston Trio song would be great for their band
So Brian went home
Worked it out on his own, yeah yeah
And when they all woke up
The song had been done

"The first and third verses were Bri's
Mike gave the second a try
The harmonies were the work of Carl, Dennis and Al
And Mister John-ston
They had their microphones on, yeah yeah
When the tracks were mixed down, it sure sounded swell

"So thanks be to Al Jardine
But even he hadn't foreseen
That the instruments would drop out halfway through verse three
(Astonishingly)
One twist of a knob (one twist of a knob)
(Mike sings the low bits)
Was enough for the job (was enough for the job)
(Bri sings the high bits)
While Banana (or was it Louie?) was upstairs having a pee

"Now one verse needed a change
So Brian called Billy Strange
And had a shop open off hours to buy a guitar
A 12-string and amp
For a sixteen-bar vamp
Bri said 'Take the gear and this cash----what a hero you are!'

"So thanks be to Al Jardine
And despite all the gossip there's been
It wasn't Capitol who said let's put it on the LP too,
Brian meant it to be
On Pet Sounds, you see...
Now the record's finished
Next stop is the zoo!"
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Re: Mr. K's BB-related Creative Stuff

on Mon Jan 08, 2018 11:47 am
And now... "That's Why God Gave Us Auto-Tune"

With apologies to messrs Wilson, Peterik, Millas and Thomas. For the record, I love
That's Why God Made the Radio and regard it as the perfect farewell album.


"When you're in the studio
There's this great effect I know
It smooths out the texture
And doesn't cost extra
Why not use if if it's there
Don't be square

"That's why God gave us Auto-Tune
That's why God gave
It's there on tap if you wanna croon
It's no disgrace
Or a loss of face
Just a great way of staying on pitch
Staying on pitch
That's why God gave us Auto-Tune

"It can help you when onstage
'Specially if you feel your age
No need to sing softly
You'll never be off-key
Auto-Tune will save the day
Come what may

"That's why God gave us Auto-Tune
That's why God gave
It's there on tap if you wanna croon
It's no disgrace
Or a loss of face
Just a great way of staying on pitch
Staying on pitch
That's why God gave us Auto-Tune

"For a geezers' celebration
Celebration
It can really help you out when used in moderation
Used in moderation

"That's why God gave
That's why God gave
That's why God gave us Auto-Tune
For staying on pitch
That's why God gave us Auto-Tune
At the flick of a switch
That's why God etc"
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Re: Mr. K's BB-related Creative Stuff

on Mon Jan 08, 2018 12:00 pm
This is the next in a series of Faintly Amusing Rewrites of lyrics of Beach Boys songs. It was
prompted by my rediscovery of the 45 version of this song, with its added vocal interjections
by Brian. I've taken the liberty of reserving this effect for the penultimate verse. Once again,
the italicized words or syllables are an attempt to mark the downbeat where it gets sticky.


"On my way to sunny Californ-i-a
Just back from Holland where we had a lovely holiday

"Water, water (they've got lots of it)
The Dutch build dykes to keep out the water
While the rain comes down in sheets and the skies are grey
(The rain comes down in sheets every day)
But the dope's so good it just takes your mind away
Takes your mind away, takes your mind away

"Were you ever south-east of Amsterdam
In Hilversum and Vreeland
Where Blondie, Carl and Ricky stayed
And enjoyed Dutch comforts firsthand
And were you ever in downtown Laren
Where Brian and clan reposed
While Mike and Al lodged in Bloemendaal
Near the dunes on the North Sea coast

"Holland, Holland (it's the place to be)
No distractions and an atmosphere of calm
We'd been wanting to leave L.A. for a couple of years
(The smog and the cars were becoming a curse)
We worked long hours, starting late in the afternoon
Working through 'til dawn, 'til the early morn

"Have you ever been down Baambrugge way
Where they solved the studio problem
And wrote about it the way it was in 'The Making of an Album'
And have you ever walked down past the bike hire shop
To where the old barn once held sway
While Bri smoked pot and wrote a fairytale plot
And wished he could sail away (like Randy Newman)

"Water, water (there's no end to it)
And all that water while the surf's never up
Still the sun shone brightly down on Denny's face
(...Surfing off the Canaries all day)
Then our Dutch treat ended when Jack took the tapes away
'No more time to play,
Back you go to L.A.!'

"Did you ever go to a festival, in 1967?
We were slated to blow, but then Bri said 'No,
We ain't hip like The Byrds
And the people there have a lot more hair
All we got are these striped shirts
But wait 'til Smile gets done, then we'll have some fun
And watch The Beatles eat their words'"
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Re: Mr. K's BB-related Creative Stuff

on Mon Jan 08, 2018 12:02 pm
Here's another Faintly Amusing Rewrite, this time about that other
forum I post on where it's not all plain sailing, hence the choice of
song. With apologies to Blondie and to the song's army of authors:

Smile On, Smiley

"I heard The Beach Boys, amidst the radio noise
Through all the static, so charismatic
Don't Worry Baby, all faint and fadey
Smile on, SMiLE on, Smiley

"I bought this record, a Brother Record
Of Indian Wisdom, it bombed on Billboard
Most confusing and bemusing
Smile on, SMiLE on, Smiley

"Was this the album that was to outdo Pet Sounds
The one that was to outweigh Sgt. Pepper ounce for ounce?

"I felt cheated and defeated
And maltreated and unseated
This was shameful and disdainful
I felt hateful and ungrateful
Then it struck me, I said 'Fuck me!
This is good stuff, if a bit rough
Smile on, SMiLE on, Smiley!'

"I joined a forum, one with decorum
At least I thought so, hello there Mr. Doe
But then came bullshit, great big waves of it,
Smile on, SMiLE on, Smiley

"Well I logged on and I posted
Linked a soul hit and got roasted
Others baited, aggravated
Moderated and placated
But I held firm in the long term
There are nice folks and some odd blokes
Smile on, SMiLE on, Smiley
Smile on, SMiLE on, Smiley
Smile on, SMiLE on, Smiley
Smile on, SMiLE on, Smiley
Smile on, SMiLE on, Smiley
Smile on, SMiLE on, Smiley
Smile on, SMiLE on, Smiley"
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Re: Mr. K's BB-related Creative Stuff

on Mon Jan 08, 2018 12:15 pm
I first posted this at Smiley where it was met with a stony silence. Not surprisingly, perhaps: it's a silly set of lyrics
to a wonderful tune (yes, that one). The bold bits show where the beat falls at moments when it might not be clear.

[1]
Yo
Here's a song about noises animals make
Though
It began as an ode to 007
James
You better run like holy hell
Well
This Leslie speaker sure sounds swell
Clear as a bell

[2]
Ouch
We must all sing this second verse in falsetto
I know Bruce
Could do this in Al's pants the first time on stage
Gee
I've never sung high G before
Love
This track fits Pet Sounds like a glove
(When) push comes to shove

[Merciful instrumental break]

Verse three now...

Maybe this wasn't a good idea after all
Don't seem right
Better leave it to Ritchie, Carol and Lyle,
Jerry Cole, Billy Strange, Tommy Tedesco...

This is where the track fades out but you can scat your way through Bill Green, Jim Horn, Plas Johnson, Jay Migliori and Roy Caton if you so wish.
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Re: Mr. K's BB-related Creative Stuff

on Mon Jan 08, 2018 12:21 pm
I'd been toying with this parody of William Blake 's The Tyger for weeks
but abandoned the idea as silly. I eventually salvaged it and filled in the missing
lines. With apologies to Mr B (and to everyone else I've offended over the years).



Smiley Smiley, Smile it ain't
Smile was awesome, this was quaint
Good vibrations, heroes too
Were not enough to pull it through

In what distant vaults beguiled
Burnt the fire of thy Smile
On what drugs dare they get higher
Who the cow dare start the fire?

Gettin' hungry, goin' bald
All the critics were appalled
Vegetables, little pad
Whistle in... all very sad

What the devil? What the fuck?
Tell me that the needle's stuck
Talk about a big mishap
Who can listen to this crap?

Derek Taylor said, "It's scrapped!"
Brian said, "No, let's adapt!"
Did he Smile his work to see
Did he who made Pet Sounds make thee?  

Smiley Smiley, Smile it ain't
Was an often-heard complaint
Opinions change and so these days
Old Smiley is a source of praise


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Re: Mr. K's BB-related Creative Stuff

on Mon Jan 08, 2018 12:39 pm
This is a selection from the least cringeworthy of my Beach Boys palindromes:


Pop, no eye! Eye on, Pop!

Avid Al stops Bob Lamm: "Am I mammal?" (Bob spots L.A. diva)

Evade Kim, Ryanair. Be curbed, urn, alas in Ned's U.K. Capitol plot. I pack U.S. Dennis, Alan, rude Bruce, Brian (Ayr), Mike, Dave...

Deirdre V: "I ran if Russia is surfin' a river dried."

'Tis Bruce. Lyle curbs it

"Oh, a disk (RAM)----evade!" (Dave Marks, Idaho)

Shoot, o how Tsar Dennis kayaks in Nedra's two hot "Ooh!"s

Now I am a ham (U.S.). Om! OK... O Kokomo, Sumahama... I won!

One nil----or a con? Dogs, pets, sloops, spools, steps, God? No, Caroline... no!!

Loop MGM's LA virtuoso Pete's "Rael", Audree. No iPad? A pioneer dual ear-set epos outrivals MGM pool

Mods, I wonder: Rats, sun, eve, nut? Penn, rut, ass, ram? Deified Mars, Saturn, Neptune, Venus starred----no wisdom!

L.A. Bruce wrote "Rub Race", "Take Red", "Deirdre", "Wendy S", "Susie C" (in minor), "Ronda", "Mona", no "Lynda" (error: read "Nylon"). A nomad, nor Ron. "I'm nice" is U.S., Syd. Newer dried Derek ate carburetor. We curb Al.

Do good----Anna will. A splay'd New Age moon and stars (Anna's rat's DNA). No Omega, Wendy----Alps. All I Wanna Do... O God!

So reharden, Mike, ego geek. I'm Nedra H. Eros!

Murry tramples a cruet. No, Carl, Audree Neva sinned not. Esme sets a tad ago. Buy an airbrush, soppy-lop! Aesop met a (a tempo) sea polyp, posh "Sur" Brian. Ayub Ogada tastes 'em. Set on Dennis, a veneer dual raconteur-case LP: Martyr Rum.

Gage/Dunbar demo's EP (Ayr, Rum, Eigg, Eriskay) for a bar of yaks: "I, Reggie/Murry, ape some drab nude gag."

Andrea: Sunrays yarn USA... er, DNA

Good Vibrations:
"A. Layne pets 1966 Dartmoor debutante no. nine [PP]
/ Aha!----Vosse sees Esso V a-happenin' on Etna"
Tubed Room, trad. 6691-step, Enya, L.A.

Si, erase----yes, no? I tar bivalve. Remit emo's didgeridoo good. I, Reg, did sometime rev LA vibrations. Eyes are I's

Smile:
Version I:
Al, up----a.k.a... win! Eek! Look slow on wonderful Ullapool decal art. Lunar dadaism row mars L.A. prelims. All racks are paper----ask Carl (L.A.). Smiler pals ram worms. I, a dad, ran ultra-laced. Loop Al, Lulu. Fred: "Now, now... ol' skool." (Keeni waka pula.)

Afterthought:
Moo! Do less, ever I flame 'em... Al! Fire vessel! O doom!

Version II:
Al, up----a.k.a... win! Eek! Look slow on wonderful Ullapool decal art. Lunar dadaism row mars L.A. prelims. All racks are not a saga, sire. Tawny DNA, the less ever I flame. Parsnips pot an air by Brian. A top spins. Rap 'em, Al! Fire vessel, eh, Tandyn? Water is a gas, a toner. Ask Carl. L.A. smiler pals ram worms. I, a dad, ran ultra-laced. Loop Al, Lulu. Fred: "Now, now... ol' skool." (Keeni waka pula.)

The Honeys:
Tucker, Edward Elgar... no Idyll----Awake (Rue de l'Age). R. Pirsig, ere my loved one soon arise, sir. A noose? No----Devo. Lyme Regis rip regaled Eureka, Wally. Dion rag led raw Derek cut

Rae, here doth Ginger delete "Pray" (O boy!). Diane, drag Espagnole buoys. But Marilyn, I've led a parcel----"Go Seek" no more. Zero Monkees ogle crap Adele vinyl. I ram tubs, "You Belong" (Apse Garden Aid). Yo! Boyar Pete led Reg night-ode rehear...

The Crew:
"Denial, blah..." (Mike E.). Plas: "No eye, no hole." Putnam tips too. Mere grocer Glen on Ray's Sid Sharp, Oprah's diss yarn on El Greco. R. Gere moots Pitman: "Tupelo honey, eon's alp... Eek! I'm Hal Blained!!"

Jack Rieley (sp?):
Daryl, lie right! Ron, I hung a red artefactoid. I see Pleyel (Eire). Lo, Jack Riley elpees dissed O'Reiley. Not S, W or N, it's U. (Jonah's eye, Rielly.) Diss idyll (Eire), yes? Ha, no! Justin rows Tony, Eli erodes Sid. See Pleyel irk/cajole Rieley elpees, idiot café trader. A gnu: "Hi!" North, G.I. Reilly----rad!

The minders:
R.E.M., Leslie, Hal, Nik, Stan... I've knave Eno's up-ones: "Biff and Ooff R Us"! Spoof Rushton got A to G (not H). Surf? Oops! Surf food? Naff! (Ibsen, opus one.) Evan, Kevin at Skin (L.A.). Heil Selmer!

Yo! Joni LP maps say: "KC or Rocky 'Ass' Pamplin". O joy!

BB menagerie:
Worms, i.e. Del's Sahara ebony: "Be, damsel." (Gaelic: "I do, cow.") Tempo woodpecker (Idaho), dawg, ibex, a bird rib... Axe big wad. Oh, a dire KC EP----doo wop me! Two codicil eagles made by no bear. A hassle? Deism row

Those worms again:
Sedan, Alp, see, kill! A G.I. duo yodels "I am A.J.'s Mr Owsley"/"El Paso". Rosa Pleyel's worms jam aisle. Do you dig Al like esplanades?

Body parts:
Head an act on heart, amuse masses. Oh pro-manatee, fool a hair, a shoulder----rats! A garden made H. Truman eye Namur. The Damned raga starred Lu. Oh sari, a halo. O feet anamorphoses! Same Sumatra, eh? Not Canada, eh?

Transport:
No e-cars? Planes iron air data----obverse, Wes. Rev boat, Adrian. O risen Alps, race on!

Ode to the Sandbox:
O Mona, Ipanema's gargantuan "O" grades. U.S. idyll as sand in a box of tense Weimaraner nuts (ed.).  "Dog-nip?" "Si, Louie amigo dog. I'm a-e-i-u-o lisping." Oddest? "Un renar', ami." Ewes net fox (Oban). I'd nasally disused Argonaut nag-rags. Amen, a piano (MO)

The fans, lol:
Flexi ferrets evolve IKEA, it unimparted as gulp, sirrah. Florida, eh, Raja? Dennocrats sneer "Get a leg". Indiana Brupublicans secure P.A. (I pot). Ullapool is at Sinair----bet no Carlivores! Serov: "Il raconte!" Brianistas, I loop all: Utopia, Peru, Cessna, CILB... up urban aid! Nigel ate greens. Star conned a Jarhead. I, Rolf Harris, plug Sade, trap minutiae, Kiev Lovester. Refix, elf!


CILB = Construction Industry Licensing Board: http://www.myfloridalicense.com/dbpr/pro/cilb/


This one explains the process and may be my most perfect palindrome yet. "Prayer" may be just one word but
it still required ten to make a palindrome. Its brevity makes this the ideal opportunity for a simplified breakdown:

To prey (arpa tacet): zap Aztec at a prayer pot

- reyarp | prayer
- to prey arp | prayer pot
[I don't accept ARP (as in synth) as satisfactory, so:]
- to prey arpa | a prayer pot
[arpa (harp) requires another musical term for it to make any sense, e.g.:]
- to prey arpa tacet | tec at a prayer pot
[Az is the the logical addition to tec:]
- to prey arpa tacet za | Aztec at a prayer pot
[It took just one p (after a little thought) to complete the palindrome:]
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